OFF

If you havent noticed, I'm taking a vacation from the interwebz. Yes, I'll be back on January 3rd - 4th 2011.
I cannot belive the year is ending.
Happy holidays.

Rut, Rut, Rutine.

I hate this. This fucking rutine I'm on. Its so, horrible to be trapped in this box and I cant get out, even though I want to! It just makes me angry. The worse part is I feel bad all the time, like, bored and tired. People cannot tell, only a few of my closest friends (thank gosh for them) can see my true colors, so they notice my absence. Its like im doing the same things over and over and over again. Different day, same shit. Its upsetting. Wake up late, cold shower, small breakfast, go to school, lunch, hws-study, use my computer and fall asleep. Its just soooo exhausting (not the events, the rutine). Makes me sad.

RAMMSTEIN.

I finally bought my tickets for Rammstein's concert this December. Im actually really excited to go, my first concert and i absolutely LOVE Rammstein. It makes me happy that i am able to go ask my parents if I can go, 'cause i'm doing good in school, so they're happy all the time.

The marvelous event occurred last friday. It was supposed to happen weeks ago but I didnt have the money. So, it was really exciting when I did. As soon as I got in the car I told my mom we were going straight to the store to go buy them. She was totally cool with it 'cause it wasnt her money. Ha ha. We went there and I almost cried when I touched them. Yes, i am an extremly sensitive person. It was incredibly awesome to know that its gonna happen, like, for real. Its gonna happen and there's nothing you can do about it. I think im gonna cry again.

So... That Kinda Sucked.

Last Thursday was a bit weird. I pulled an all nighter, it sucked, it was the worst, I hated it... I think I'll do it again sometime. Yes, it was awful but it was kinda fun too. Specially what happened through out the day. So lets start from the top.

4:45 a.m. I fell asleep. I couldnt take it anymore, apparently. So, I just dozed off. Woke up at 6 like I never slept, like if I was in standby, it was so weird, I cannot even explain. I washed my hair to wake up a litte, had some sandwiches for breakfast and went right ahead to school. So, I got there and told a few friends about my exciting night, so they got stoked about watching me trying to stay awake. At first I was kind of awake, like a bit hyperactive, but then it all dropped. I was about to faint. I couldnt write, talk, blink, or think. It was awful, totally dreadful. I had to make an essay for my english class and had a pop quiz on my maths period. So that was awesome.

After that, around 1 or 2 p.m. in my last period of class, I literally fell asleep. Unfortunately, I had to stay until 4pm because of this thing we have to do every thursday. I got home like around 4:30 and told my brother to wake me up at 5 or 5:15 because it was his birthday and since people were coming over I had to get pretty and all. So, I fell asleep on my parents bedroom, all wrapped up in between the egyptian cotton sheets. My brother woke me up at like 5:45, som'n like that. So I freaked out cause it was super late and I didnt have enough time to get FULLY ready. Plus, I was in "stand by" again, like... If I was never asleep. Its really weird, but w.e. So, I got my hair did, and my nails done, etc, and went right to organizing the house and stuff. People started arriving at around 6:30 and it was kindof boring at first, but then it got a bit more exciting.

The party ended around 11 p.m. and I still hadnt had more than 1 hour of sleep since the day before that at 6a.m. My friends were already telling me to go sleep, that I looked like a zombie and what not... So, I followed their advice and went right to bed. As soon as my head touched the pillow I was already on my seventh dream. It was a pretty funny day. I laughed, I cried, I tripped over flat surfaces and fell on my face. It was fun, I'll probably do it again eventually.

All Nighter

Its 3:21 AM, so that means I still have 2 1/2 hours to go... Awesome. Its not like I cant sleep... I just dont want to. I dared myself to do it, just to see if I could. Well, im already this far, it would be quite dumb to give up now and just have 2 hours of sleep (cause that 1/2 hour would be me rolling around in my bed trying to get comfy). 

I've watched one movie. One awesome movie. Its called The experiment, one of my biology classmate told me about it on Tuesday, so I gave it a try. It was really good, like everything in the whole damn movie was great, the actors, the plot, the acting...it was just incredible. So, up to now my two favorite psycological thrillers in 2010 are: Inception and The Experiment. This information will do you no good, it will help you in no way, in fact your IQ just dropped 2. TEEHEE. 

Two movies I saw recently, that are totally opposites of each other, really got to me. Not in a sentimental way, its just that I wont ever forget them in my life. One being The Room. Oh my gosh, that HAS to be the worst movie ever, like, for real! It had no real plot, the acting almost made me threw up, and just the whole thing was off. It is really ridiculous. People say its dumb to say its bad because it is way to obvious and I quote "Its like hitting a mentally retarded person". I beg to differ. I mean, yes, it is stupid to write a bad review about the movie but I just had to say it because it was too damn bad. 

The other movie I saw this week was The Human Centipede. Now, I said The Room almost made me sick, this movie literally made me threw up in my mouth. It was too discusting for words. Its a good movie, but it was just gross, too gross for my taste. I'll stay with blood and guts, but not this. Its people swallowing poop. POOP. I just cant stand the sight of that. You're probably wondering why I watched the movie in the first place. I was curious. A friend of mine told me about it and I decided to watch it. I was bored, c'mon. 

Anyways, now I have to go figure out something else to do. I've watched movies, youtube videos, posted on my blog, read 100 comics and tweeted like crazy. Whats left for me to do? 

Back To Reality. Shit.

Today was my first day of school after a week off. It was totally random. People forgot how to write, how to read, and locker passwords. So, we didnt do much besides talking about all the awesome things every one except me did on the week off, and what an amazing time they had. It was a bit annoying but after I started listening to music everything disappeared.

Spanish was fine, I had it on my first period. Then Socials, I had to turn in a piece of cardboard with a bunch of information I didnt learn. After that Mathematics, now that subject is always about the gossip, sadly. Its just because we have a very nosy teacher. Then we had recess, I ate two bags of chips and then Peace & Democracy. Since we've done nothing this bimester, he decided tu give us some homework and get the grade out of that, its in pairs so we didnt argue with his choice. ICT as my 5 period subject isnt so bad, except for the fact that the AC was broken. Lunch, then Biology. Its a pretty cool subject, I like to think, but its because Im so naturally good at it. It runs in the family.

To break it down for you, my grades until now are:
Math. 7.4
Spanish: 7.4
Socials: 7.0
Chemestry: 7.1
Biology: 9.4
ICT: 9.9(NICE)
English & French: Dont know yet but im sure I'll ace it.

So, I have yet to find out about Physics. Is getting me worried.

My Big Box Of Stuff.

I have this box. A regular brown carton box. Were shoes used to be. I now use it as my Big Box of Stuff. Every little thing that has ever meant something to me is there and every little thing that I'd want to remember forever. From receits, to movie tickets and plastic bag from a special store, there is everything there. The idea came from a movie, I think, I saw it somewhere and thought to myself "that is AWESOME". So I decided I needed to have one. I went into my room, pulled out an old shoe box and wrote on it "private stash for teh lulz".

At first I didnt have anything to put in there. So I looked through my stuff to find old receits and stuff. I was lucky I found 3 or som'n. I was super excited at first and kept on telling my mom to find old movie tickets and plastic bags from the time we went to Argentina, or to the US. It was fun at first, but then I got tired of searching for things that might not even exist. So I decided to wait and just let things flow, so eventually I'll have things to put in. 

Months passed, I didnt even notice and my box was almost full. I was extremely happy, but at the same time worried that I might not have enough space to put my shit in (Pardon my french). Completely oblivious to the fact that the box was halfway full, I just kept on putting things inside it. Everything. Except movie tickets, I started to keep those on my wallet. Dont know why, but yeah.

I was really bored yesterday and started to think that my box was a little dull. That that brown color didnt fit the "personality" my box really had. So I took my painting brush and a couple of different colored paint and went crazy. So now the front is black and it says Big Box Of Stuff. The other sides are yellow, blue, green and another black one. Too bad I'm gonna have to get a new one soon.

FREEDOM.

*Sigh* You know that feeling you get, when the bell rings and you know that you wont have to go back to school on Monday? Yeah, that one. I felt it yesterday. It was so good. I happened to share that feeling with my classmates, and the rest of the school, since we have this week off because the bimester is over and teachers need time to fill in the grades. Funny how they all decide to test us on the last week, ALL OF THEM. Fuck that, they should've made the exams a week earlier so we would be ready.

Report Card day is on the 22nd. I'm scared 'cause I dont know if I'll pass mathematics or physics. Im sure Socials, Spanish and Biology are down, but hopefully so are the other two. I'll figure out next week when we get back to class. Plus I have a presentation for tuesday to get started with. Yes, my socials teacher left us homework for the week. We all fucking hate her. Pardon my french.

I WANT THAT!!!...Wait. No, Not Anymore.

We're all kids inside. We still have that urge to pull on our parents sleeves giving them the sad puppy eyes so that they buy that cereal every kid in school eats, instead of the oatmeal. It usually works, when you're small and it involves food. But oh no, not when you're 16 and want a car. Okay, maybe sometimes, so congratulations to the lucky few.

I've wanted this cellphone for so long. For around 5 months. Craving it, telling my mom how awesome it would be if I had this phone. Now that I have it... I'm not so crazy over it. Meh. It happens, mostly to me so you're clear. Im worried, that I might get bored and eventually sell it like I did with my other phone. I really hope it doesnt happen, cause if it does, my mom wont ever buy me another one. I need to settle down, I cant keep going from one thing to another just because I get bored. I need to grow up.

I Hate Mondays.

Weekends are just the best, specially if you dont have any homework.For some reason you get a little bit used to it. Waking up late, taking 2pm showers, doing nothing besides watching Glee and checking your Facebook every 5 minutes just to see if anything's up. You dont see it coming until its there, Monday. Its the worst day in the whole week, for me. You have to get back to school after spending 3 days with your friends, back to falling asleep in class because its way too early, and back to studying. There's something about Mondays that were just made for us to hate it. Its unbelievable the amount of people that actually hate Mondays. There are few, but they do exist, the people that love Mondays. Those people that seem so happy in the morning 'cause they get to study. Yay! Or not. I find that annoying, really. People who seem to enjoy going back to the rut everybody's on. Makes me want to punch them in the face. Chuck Norris dissaproves. I'd much rather it be thursday. I think weekends should be a four day affair if you ask me. But you didnt. Whatevs. Teachers secretly plot against us so we have the worst classes on Mondays. Spanish, Socials, Mathematics, Chemestry, Physics and whatever subject you can think of that you hate. They do it on purpose. Chuck Norris dissaproves again. I hate this shit.

Thank gosh tomorrow is Tuesday, I like Tuesdays. For some reason that day is very relaxed for me, and Thursdays. Biology, ICT, English, Music, Art and every other subject you kind of enjoy. On this specific days people seem much more relaxed, I have no idea why, but they do. Teachers, students, workers, animals. Its a little "I'm sorry for Mondays" so I'm kinda gratefull for these days. Wednesdays I really dont care about. Its the day in the middle of the week, its does nothing to my brain, doesnt cause any kind of emotion. So, whatever. Then back to weekends, plain fun. You hang out with your friends, wake up late, 2pm showers, watch Glee and check Facebook. Then guess what? Its Monday again, and the cycle repeats. FML.

Music, The Highest Pinnacle Of Entertainment.

Have you ever been moved by a song? Or by a movie? I have. So many times. Everytime I'm sad, or happy and want to scream my heart out, I just plug my iPod to my speakers, and just turn the volume up. When you're sad, you watch a really sad movie, with ice cream and lots of chocolate just because. When you're really pissed off at your parents, you go to your room, lock the door and just listen to hard core rock. Right? When you're in love with a boy, that lives one thousand miles away, and you start missing him, what do you do? You blast out "Here Without You - 3 Doors Down" Why? Cause we like it. We are emotional cutters, we do it on purpose. Its just the way we are wired. Cant help it. Yes, it makes you miss him even more, but, its kind of a good feeling. Its even better if you're in the shower, oh yes. All this things we do, we do them because it awakens our emotions. It's like we are feeling more of the rush of crying or the rath of just being shouted at, or the boy you like just asked you out, and that rush of blood to the head you get. Times 10.

Love & Friendship.

 My city celebrates this day, my school does too. So, happy love and friendship day! I guess... or whatever. My school usually celebrates this day by exchanging gifts in each classroom, delivering carnations and a special show presented by the seniors at the end of the day. We can wear red or white t-shirts, jeans (but we have to pay) and your favorite shoes. This is the most anticipated day of the whole school year, besides obviously, the last day of school.

The day starts by people arriving at quarter to 7 a.m. Nobody's there yet, you are sitting alone with your bag of candy, waiting for everyone to get there so you can give out your present. They get there around 7:15. You're psyched. So, you enter your classroom, sit down, look around to see who wasnt wearing jeans, so you can mock them. After you stare at your classmates, that forgot to pay so they could wear jeans, you start to give our candy. To your friends and to the people you like. Sadly, there's people in your classroom you dont like, so you dont give them candy.

You go to your classes, but you dont really do anything other than talk and eat enourmous amounts of chocolate until you hear your stomach going "grrrrrrgg" which is kind of nasty. You talk to your friends, and ask them what they would do if they got called out to go to the stage in the senior presentation, you also ask yourself, thinking of a way to avoid it. But you know, you always know they are going to call out the "popular girls and guys", they always do. That's why we hate them so much. Its not like you want to get called out, you just want to be known enough so that people would want you to get called out. Its not fair.

Recess is over, you only have one period left of class before you go to the show. This year, physics. You get there, and sit down, look at the board to see if he is going to make you do any type of classwork, crossing your finger hoping he doesnt. Telling your friends to cross THEIR fingers so he doesnt, but he does. You know you have to finish the classwork so he can let you out, so you do it. Its long, hard and boring, and you dont even know what you're doing, cause you're probably copying somebody else's work.

Its that time, its 11 o'clock, you just packed away and you're ready to go. Its 11:15 and you're still in your classroom, your teacher hasnt seen your classwork so he wont let you leave. You start to shout at him, trying to get out, he gets bored of it, and he opens the door. You start running, so you can sit really close to the stage, but sadly its too late. The freshmen are already there. You swear out loud. Everybody stares. You go to the back and sit down. The show kinda sucks, but its because you didnt get to see all of it. Everything is over, you dont feel satisfied with how the day went. You go home, eat your candies, and roll around on your bed thinking of how many ways the celebration could've gone better.

Writer's block.

Writer's block is a condition, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task at hand. At the other extreme, some "blocked" writers have been unable to work for years on end, and some have even abandoned their careers. It can manifest as the affected writer viewing their work as inferior or unsuitable, when in fact it could be the opposite.


I haz this.

PAR-TAY

Who doesnt like to party? Really good and hard. With all your friends and with the people you love... Well, I certainly do. I basically love everything that comes close to a party, not just me, the regular teenager. At least a big percent of them. I went to a party this weekend, it was the best. Specially because I danced all night long, and got to meet new people. I ran into some classmates and obviously into my ex. But that's just whatever. 

It was on saturday, ofcourse. The anniversary party the clubs throws every year, but I never went, even though I was invited. But I did this year, because my friends wanted to go and I really wanted to party. We got there and the music was off with the whole environment of the party. Which sucked at the begining, since I got there around 11 p.m. So, around 1:30 a.m. music started getting better, which led into dancing, which I absolutley adore. Dancing, one of my passions. 

Many people my age dont know how to dance, that is a really bad thing. You can't go worse than that. If you're a guy, you may be not-so-handsome, or have the skinniest arms and body, if you can dance, you're safe. For the girls, its not like that, but it really is better if they do know how to, dancing with your partner and doing it well, is a total bliss. There are certain couples that do not enjoy dancing at all, but thats just them. Let 'em live their live.

In my little piece of heaven town, dancing is crucial. If you dont know how to dance, well, you're screwed. So, the ones that dont are always asking for help. Most of them get a hang of it, but there are some who really cant do anything about it. I feel sorry for them, because dancing is so beautiful. Well, everybody has a different opinion about it, and thats just mine.

Dancing = Happiness.

Bad Day.

Ever had one of those? When you just know its going to be a really bad, and crappy day? Well, I knew it from the moment I woke up. It all started when I noticed that the shirt that I was going to wear today, smelled like ass. So I had to go through my closet, and find my PE shirt, which is was thicker than my regular one. After that I had breakfast, brushed my teeth, and got my backpack ready. I noticed something was missing. My headphones. I really cant go to school without my iPod, and if i dont have the headphones I cannot use my ipod. I could kill someone at this point.

When I got to school, late, because I took too much time to look for the headphones, it was awful hot. Like its never been. Horrible, horrible weather. I had music in my first period. Since I play the piano in my extracurricular activities, I dont have to do any work in class, and I ace it. So, I had to. I really didnt have much of a choice, it was either that, or talk with the people I hate the most in my school. So I chose work. It wasnt that bad really, but I wasnt in the mood to do anything, so I didnt enjoy it.

Two hours of mathematics after that. Im pre-suicidal right about now. Its really just because I didnt listen to any music since I woke up, that makes me go all crazy. At recess time I found some headphones I could use, but only for 30 minutes. Wasnt what I was looking for exactly, but it was something, and I need it, anything. After that it was just ICT and biology, which is fine. I got home and things got better, they always do eventually. Had lunch, turned on my laptop, did my homeworks, left my laptop on while studying and then just used it. Talked with some friends, so that made me clear my head.

Now, Im just kind of excited for tomorrow and saturday. Tomorrow is my father's graduation ceremony, he went through a lot to get his tittle. The plan is this. I get out of school at 1 p.m., my brother is taking the car to school so we can get the hell out of there faster. We get home, have lunch, get ready and we have to be at my father's university by 3. It sounds like is going to be simple, it wont be. It'll be over around 4 or 4:30, hopefully. After that I'm being dropped off to go bowling with some friends and the twins, since they're leaving saturday night and all. On saturday, I'm going to my best friend's boyfriend's house with the twins as well, but around 5 pm, since my best friend is going to be at school doing important shit. Right about 9 p.m. I'll be leaving to go to a party at some club here in my city, with some friends ofcourse, and obviously with my best friend.

Tomorrow will be a better day, hopefully. Looking foward to it, at least. I wont get my hopes up tho'. Dont want to end dissapointed and all.

Imbecile.

I'd like to think that my homeroom teacher is a real softy in the inside. That all the things he does, and says, are just to get closer to us. But when they backfire, he doesnt know how to handle it. I believe that when you are a tutor, in a classroom where they all hate each others guts, you need to know what to do, how, and when to do it. We've known this guy since last year, he was/is our physics teacher, he is now that and our tutor in the morning. Since we met him, we all knew he was different, in a retarded kind of way. He never shouts, nor raises his voice, which is the opposite of our regular teachers in any class. He likes to talk a lot, not necessarily connect to the students, but always about things that are unrelated to physics. Now as a tutor, he likes to make us learn something new everyday, to make us a better students.

The second day of school, with 4 new students in our class, he decided to make a poll. Asking us about our cualities, defects, and our friends in our class. The next day, once we arrived to the classroom at 7:15 a.m., he told us he was going to show us our answers anonymously, you know, just to see who doesnt have friends. This went from bad to worse when there was only one kid in the class who no one wrote as their friend. Poor thing. However, the one who was written down the most got a cookie. Really. So he broke down and cried, so our tutor felt bad. But there was nothing he could do about it, so he never read our answers again.

Now he just really write down who arrives late, who doesnt, who's being mean and who deserves a golden star. I'm not sure how the other tutors from our grade treat the other classes, but I'm positive they never would've thought of doing that. Seriously. So we got the worst tutor, its been only 1 week and a half, and we are all too bored of him, its not even funny. There will be better days in school for me in the future I hope. In a future not so far away. No one likes to be embarrased. No one. But thats how some of our classmates get a kick out of school. In our class, there is more and more hatred everyday, its kind of scary, how we most likely dream of riping someones hair off in front of the whole school pretty much every night. We dont really say it out loud, but we all know its in our things to do before graduation. For me at least.

Just 3 Days?!?!

So, finally my first saturday after a week of school. Its not what I expected, but its something. But three days? Only three days? I cant do anything with just three days. Bu hey, thats life. Life's a bitch, then you die.

I wish it could be a bit more simple. You can explain life in a few words, dying is easy, being born as well, what's in between its whats difficult. It really is. Not that there are many problems in my life right now, its just that, a lot of bad things happen to me. Its no fun.

Grounded Shmrounded.

Its a normal thing amongst us teenagers to get grounded all the time, we in fact do. Its not like we do it on purpose, its just that is much easier to say im sorry that to ask for permission, right? Its mostly because we're going out too much or not doing so good in school. There are also times when you get grounded because you spent too much money. Money that wasnt yours. You can consider yourself dead now.

It wasnt really my fault. Yesterday my friends came over to have some chinese food, I was buying. My mother, who wasnt home by the way, told me to ask for 1 1/2 box, I asked for 2 boxes. Big mistake. We were a lot of people, mostly guys who love to eat until they cant breathe. It wasnt my fault! I asked my maid if I had enough money, she said I didnt. I was about to call-off the whole thing until my father's assistant told me I could use some of her money. I did, and that was wrong of me. They came, they ate, they left. My mother didnt notice the money problem until after 1 hour they were already gone.

So, I'm grounded, for a while.Which sucks.

Finally Some Work

So, I got to do some real work today at school, and even set a date for my first quiz! Which is kinda weird that im excited, but whatever. I had music, english, mathematics, ICT and biology. Those are my favorite subjects, so  by now you know that thursday is by far my favorite day in the week. Music is pretty simple, I always get A+ because I stay in extracurricular activities, and that means you have to get an A+. English, well, i've always been pretty good at it;). Mathematics is really easy if I pay attention from the start, cause if I dont, I'll be lost for the rest of the hour. ICT, its pretty kick ass itself. Biology, well, my teacher is the laziest guy ever, so no problem there.

Yesterday was a pretty good day too. I got out of school, did a little homework and around 5 o'clock I went to my best friend's house! Which was awesome, I had loads of fun there. After that I went with my bf to Gamers Inc, which is a place here where you can play videogames. I had fun there too. Then around 8:30 pm, my mom went to pick me up and I didnt really eat, cause I forgot, because of all the fun I was having;) That is pretty much it. Hope tomorrow rocks too, except for socials, tomorrow is my first class with my socials teacher, it will suck. Besides that I hope its awesome.

Gets Better By The Minute

Sooo, I had my second day of school as a sophomore. It was pretty mellow. The usual day in my school, arrive, listen to my ipod, talk with friends and attend class. Its pretty simple. Not really when you dont have a locker, they gave us our 10 notebook, and we dont have a place to put them in! Its making me mad because I dont want to hang around with my notebook through out the whole day. Its killing me.

At least we had some ACTUAL class today, no introductions or stupid shit. Did some classwork, and now I have some homework, which is something. That was all I was asking for, something, anything! I was getting way to bored at school and at home, now I have something to do, not super fun, but something.

Im gonna go do that homework now, sorry for not entertaining you enough. :D

The Most Boring First Day Of School

It has to be the worst to just go to school and finding out that your whole grade has been mixed up, your friends that used to be your classmates are no longer in the same class, and you are now with those people you hate. Thank Gosh that didnt happen to me. There were some changes tho', we've always been 21 students in my classroom, 4 left, 4 came.

I woke up at 4 a.m. from the excitement, and I really was excited. Its my first day of school as a sophomore, c'mon. I was all tidied up and ready to go around 5:30 and my brother had just woken up. So we had to wait until he got dressed and had breakfast so we could go, it is HIS senior year and whatever... So, I arrived at school around 6:30, nobody was there, so I took the liberty of taking pictures and checking my class list.

After that, we had an assembly, as a welcome to the school. It was really boring, its not even funny. We had 1 hour of tutoring, with the worst teacher ever. He didnt really say anything that could be helpfull for us in our first day. He gave us our schedule, and told us who are teachers were for each class. He forgot to say when we had lunch, which I think is crucial information.

In the assembly at the first hour they told us we COULD use our cellphones, just not inside the buildings, including the classrooms and halways. So we CAN use it in recess, and thats kinda cool. I, however, dont a have a cool cellphone to use in recess, so this helps me no way. The hour after recess we had "class". But not really. It was our peace and democracy teacher explaining us how this year is going to be. And it sucked. After that we had ICT, and I just went on facebook and didnt pay attention. So fuck it.

I really hope this year will be a good year for me, academically and emotionally. So, fingers crossed.

sKoOL SuKs!!!!!1!!

Well, today would be my last day of summer vacations. This sucks. I do have to say its been the best summer I've had in a while, really. Last year I did great in school, so I as totally off the hook with my parents, but I didnt have that many friends to hang out with, and if I did have a plan with some of them, I made up a lame excuse because I never wanted to go out. It was weird. The year before that my grades really sucked, so I was grounded.

This summer I've done everything you can do in summer. I went to the pool, I hung out with my friends, I partied A LOT. And last but not least, I met someone:). I took care of some relationships with lost friends, and made them closer, and fell apart with others. Got in a lot of trouble. Drank lots of alcohol and had loads of fun.

I'm just sad its over, for real. Today is my last day in this incredible summer. Its makes me sad, but happy, since it was the best vacations ever, its over. I dont regret anything that has ever happened because, if I did regret those things, and had a chance to change it I would, but since I dont regret anything, i dont want to change, because whatever happens, happens. All the mistakes and the bad things I did, the consequences, made today the way it is, and its perfect.

Day By Day

I found another escape, besides this. A diary, my diary. I've been having this diary since '05. I dont write what I do everyday, I write what i want to remember forever.

The Amazing Tube

The most amazing website that has ever existed has to be YouTube. It frees all of us, and lets us share with the world. Im in love with multiple youtubers:P they are all really awesome for what they do. They entertain the world, and we are loving it.

I started my channel in 2007, I was 12 and in love with superman at the time (not that im not anymore...) so my username is Supermely12. Its kinda lame, but sweet at the same time. Back in the day i wasnt planning on uploading any videos, i just made it so i could subscribe and have playlists.

Nowadays, i would like to upload videos, but i dont have the appropiate equipment to do so. Im trying to get it, but it will be hard. I also need to come up with ideas for videos. Any sugestions?

So There's This Thing Called Gossiping

Its is a very famous thing in my town, regular people call it gossiping, here they call it talking. It really sucks because in our town, its all about conections, and if you have a bad reputation, you're not going to make it in our little piece of heaven.

This usually happens in schools, and colleges, but it all gets to the big dogs, the parents. Then all hell breaks loose to the one with the reputation. It's just how things work, you learn sooner or later how to deal with this situations the good way or the hard way.

I had to learn the hard way later. It took me some time, and it was awful while it lasted. Thank Gosh is over.

I HAVE A FLOOR?!?!

Yes, its know that among teenagers we always have our bedrooms in total disorder. Well, I like to think that mine already hit caotic. My walls are all painted white, my closet doors are black wood colored, and my roof is also white. I like how my rooms is right now, I have a bed, a desk, mirrors and a little rug. That's pretty much all I need to have. Its the biggest room in the whole house ironically, since I'm the youngest one. It was just a coincidence.

My parents bedroom is the farthest from the front door, which is exactly how it should be. But its not the biggest room in the house, mine is. However, it is the closest from the front door, but I dont really mind. My brother's bedroom is exactly in front of mine, what separates our rooms is the bathroom we share. Its sucks, really bad. There are two other rooms in the house, one belonging to our lovely maid that has been working for us since i was 11 months old. The other room is ocupated by my mother's sister in law, she is staying here for a while because of some job. I like her. My sister and I, used to sleep in the same bed before she went away to study law. I miss her.

Sometimes, when I'm really mad, I like to organize my room. If its really messy and sticky, and Im not mad or bored, I just leave it like that. Piles of dirty clothes on one corner, books and magazines on another, and my bed totally turned upside down. I dont really mind, it makes my room cozy, I'd like to think. My mother hates it, but she barely notices. My father couldnt give less of a damn of how my room is organized, he knows me.

I might aswell go organize it now, I have nothing else to do, and I'm kindof pissed. Its a good plan for the day.  I think.

Photography = My Passion.

There is this place, I like to call it Wonderland, nobody else knows this place. They might have seen it, but never felt what I feel when I go there. Its a magical place, where I can do whatever I want, be whoever I want to be. Its a land full of wonder and happiness. I only take my camera and I'm good for the day. All I ask for it to stop time when I'm right there. Its my happy place. Maybe afterwards share my pieces of stopped time to the world.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/50006571@N04/

Mom... Dad... What Are You Doing?

I absolutely love, adore, my parents. They are the best, speacially when they defend me against my brother. Thats not a real reason to why I love them, its all about how incredibly nice and awesome people they really are. Its funny how different and alike they seem. They love each other to death, I've never met another couple that loved each other more than my mom and dad. Their love is eternal, not even death can set them apart. I love that.

My mother has two personalities. She doesnt have mental issues or anything, its all about the mood she is in. For example, if she is very tired, comes home, its all hot and there is no food ready, she gets really upset. You can forget about going out, its best if you dont even try, you'll wind up dead if you do. But, when she is happy, when the business is running good, and there is good money, she can say yes to anything. When I say anything, I REALLY mean anything. It even sounds nice, anything. Its like she is divided in two. I love her, she is the best mom in the whole world. To me at least.


My father is a very good role model to any guy anywhere. He is very patient, comprehensive, honest, kind, gentle, caring, loving, bad temper (that only happens when he is in a bad mood)...well the list could go on forever. He's been in the army, and he is proud of it. When he was young he started studying Law, but gave it up to follow his dreams, being a dentist. I cant blame him, at first I also wanted to be a dentist, but changed my mind, because I cant have such a regular job. He has a bad side, like my mom. When he gets upset, you better not talk to him, or you will eventually die. None of my brothers nor I would ever make him cry, on purpose of course. Its like its a sin in our house. When you make our father cry, you are the most terrible person that has ever lived, and you dont deserve to be alive anymore. For real. He is such a good father, I love him. Best dad in the whole world, to pretty much everyone I know.

I am very thankful to have my parents the way they are, hence I am a very wealthy person emotionally, for that there are no words to express how lucky I am. There are people out there who aren't as lucky as I am. Not to sound cocky, but I know kids that have bad parents, I just guess those parents had parents themselves. Cant blame them, sorry. Every night when I go to bed, I always ask God to protect them for me, 'cause they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. My heart is full of their love. I love them. Too damn much that it doesnt even fit in my entire body.

Grades, Grades, Grades

I've always been a good student. Since my birth my parents knew I was born to get straight A's. It was all going great until I entered High School. My grades got worse and worse by the second. It was hell to my parents, it wasnt very nice for me either. I am good with some subjects, almost every one, but I have this difficulty with social studies. Every year, when I have to go get my final grades, everything is fine except for that one and only subject. It sucks, cause I try my best.

Last year, when I my mother went to get my grades, she told me I passed socials, and I was incredibly happy. I believed I really passed, but they told me, this year, at the end of May that I needed to recover social studies from last year. I didnt believe it, so I just let it pass. I really needed to recover it, or else I couldnt matriculate for next year, ergo, repeat this one. I would kill myself.

This school year I also failed socials. I needed to recover this August, like my other socials exam. I totally forgot about it, and just kept on studying this years exam. The test is in two days, and I remembered today. So, I told my mother about it, and she was infuriated. She told me she didnt care if I had to repeat my freshmen year, as long as I learned to not leave things to the very last second.

The plan now is to stop studying for this yea'rs exam, and focus on last year's. Because if I fail this year's nothing happens, I just have to do it again and again until I pass. I'm so scared. I dont want to fuck it up, cause if I do, there is no way around it.


Fuck.

Doggies

I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that. 


My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet.

Troublesome Teenage Years.

So I have this friend that is living in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She recently moved because she wants to go to college there. She used to go to school with my best friend, and we all hung out together, and it was the best.  She has this boyfriend, they started dating the day I first met them. He is one year younger than her, so he is still living here and is planing on studying some where that's not Argentina. So they decided they are going to break up, today. Their 14 month-versary. Weird, but I'll suppport her through whatever.

Yesterday I went out with the twins, and sang some Eminem with them. Never forget that air band singing. It was the best. However, I didnt dream about it, it's strange because most of the time I always dream about the fun stuff I do in the day, but not this time. I slept awfully too, maybe its because of that. Maybe its because of the stress of going back to school in 2 weeks. That sucks.

Anyways, there is a bright side to school in two weeks, having something to do everyday, maybe not fun stuff but its something. I hate being a couch-potatoe. You might ask "why dont you do something??" because I cant, like literally cant. I'm not sixteen yet, so I cant drive, and my 18 year old brother loves being a couch-potaoe, so he wont take me anywhere, and neither will my mother. Damn.

Dreams

I didnt have a dream last night. I had multiple dreams, and I remember maybe two of them. I truly love dreaming, and remembering them in the morning, I like it because its like watching a movie of your memories and maybe fantazies. Usually, its the things I worry about the most. I always think about important stuff before I fall asleep, as soon as I lay my head on my pillow all my concerns and thoughts of the day flash before me. No matter how stupid it may seem to other people, if I think its important, it will be put in my "things to think about before dozing off". I also like to listen to music when I go to bed, usually because it distracts me a bit, and lets me fall asleep faster.

The dream I remember completly from last night is really weird. Its like I'm in a roller coaster with Eminem, but not really a roller coaster, more like a circuit from Mario Kart. This could be because I've been playing this game for the last 72 hours while listening to Eminem. That's why I like dreaming.

The other dream I remember, its a blur. All I can say is that it involves the twins, well, one of them. The twins are my ex-boyfriend's childhood playmates. They live in south of Jersey, and they come here every summer to be with their father, since they have divorced parents. They live with their mother and her boyfriend, they have an older brother, and an older sister who is married and lives in Washington D.C. I had a dream about one of them because yesterday I spent the afternoon talking with him. It really isnt that much of a big deal, it was plain chattering. I could've also dreamed about them because I'm going to see them today, we're going to my best friend's boyfriend's house, and that was involved in our conversation. It's going to be fine. Right?

Re-cap.

I've been through a lot in this world, even though im only 15, it doesnt mean i havent been crazy and done stupid things. 

I've made lots and lots of mistakes, and i dont regret a single one of them, cause they made me the girl i am today, and i am content with who i am now.

Anyways, I used to be the underdog of my class. My best friend was the biggest, ugliest bitch/loser in the whole school. Pardon my french. I didnt care, i really didnt. Everyone loved me, and hated me. They loved me because i was funny and weird in a good way. They hated me because i was friends with her. I stabbed her in the back, it was mean, but had to be done. We stopped being friends, so I starting making new ones, she didnt. They all stabbed me in the back. Karma's a bitch. However, its an on/off relationship with them. They all fucked me over, but i dont hate them, i dont feel hate for anything. Except for Miley Cyrus.

I found love, and lost it sadly. He is now happy with another person, and i am truly glad. We remained best friends, spilling dirt on everyone from time to time. I met a few other guys, but they didnt leave an important print on my life, so i dont think its necessary to talk about them. Had another boyfriend recently, wasnt much of a prince charming. Didnt leave a print either, so no more talking about him. At least i know my standards now.

Now a have a solid group of friends, thank God. I needed something to be stable in my life, at least one thing, and now its my friends. I love them all, they're all so different, but so alike at the same time. They are all over 17, i dont like people my age, they have a different way of thinking now a days.

I love music. I love music more than i love my life actually. Its my escape from all the shit in my life(i know its cheesy, fuck you) but its true. There is a genre and a special song for every mood am in. So, if im sad because i feel lonely, i listen to "Vanilla Twilight". If im happy, i listen to "Nothing Else I Can Say". And if I just want to listen to good music, i just listen to Robbie. My other escape is food, and i found out about this recently. I thought it was only movie's thing, but no, food does work! And its delicious. 

A lot of things have happened to me this past month, but people i know will see this, and i dont want to share too much information. Lets leave it at:

I stopped caring about everything, and building things up in my head, so i wont be disappointed. Its a better way of living.

I now know a person that doesnt live in the same continent i do.

My self-esteem is higher than its ever been.

I hate dislike my brother's girlfriend.

Im really confused when it comes to who i like today, but we will come back to that afterwards.

I now have a new best friend.

I hate international affairs.

Thats it for now. 

it was pretty much nonsense. Damn. -M

P.S: This entry is just a re-cap of everything. I will love this.

August 3rd 2010

Okay, so this is my first blog post. Bare with me.

My name is Melissa, im 15 years old and im attending my sophomore year in highschool. Im pretty much an average teenage girl with boy problems and pimples. So i'd just figured i'd tell people my story, and maybe find someone who's story resembles to mine.

So, this is me. This is my life.